April 25th - 1:15pm I am trying to write this thing for substack and I am really struggling. I can't figure out structure or tone or anything. This week one of my advisees got in trouble for apparently using AI on an exam. The case is compelling. My advisee, J, asked to sit in the hall to concentrate on his exam. The teacher asked him to turn in his phone and J said he didn't have it? Then the teacher went outside 10 minutes later and J was on his phone. He got in trouble and then the teacher sent a LONG email that was at least half chatGPT to all of J's teachers accusing him of using AI with examples and bullet points outlining exactly why he thought so. Chatgpt's conclusion was: J’s essay looks like it may have been built from a generated frame/assisted outline, then filled in and partly modified by the student. The biggest giveaways are the template-like repetition, generic analytical phrasing, and mismatch between awkward mechanics and polished abstract wording. This is really just SUCH a perfect way to describe how a smart 7th grader might write. Template like repetition from public education and sentence frames, generic phrasing about concepts he can't quite grasp, and a combination of bad grammar and high vocabulary. That just really makes sense to me. April 15th - 11:32am Wednesday update. More miserable. I went to a HSA meeting yesterday and joined with no picture as "Jess" to see if they were going to talk about me. They didn't... which made me feel substantially more miserable. Everytime I feel myself getting depressed I just feel like all the color is seeping out of me into a puddle around my feet. And everytime I go for a walk or call my mom it's like cupping the color with my hands and trying to put it back on. But I'm just black and white. None of it sticks. The thing I was thinking yesterday is that the only good thing about my life right now is my job and it's getting taken away. Is that true? Is that the only good thing about my life? It feels that way. My temper at school has been so short this week. Now that I know such a bad thing is happening, how am I supposed to meet my kids with constant kindness and consideration. I want to move home. Just like... home home home home with mom and dad. I have to resign my lease I think by the end of the month. Fuck my fucking. chungus life for. realllll. April 14th - 2:33pm I want to stay here. I like it. April 14th - 12:31am Last night at 8pm I got an email that I am going to be force transferred out of my school next year. I feel miserable about that. Miserable. Miserable. Miserable. April 12th - ... April 8th - 9:43am Today my students are all working on their scripts for their short films. I have them two periods to work which is perhaps too much. I bought a bunch of different things to eat for breakfast but I haven't been able to get out of bed on time all week. I've been staying up late, annoyingly, working on lesson plans. Then I try to go to sleep by listening to an audiobook but the book I've been listening to is too thrilling so instead I need to remember to start listening to Mythology by Edith Hamilton instead. Tomorrow I have a fourth date, which is I feel like will keep me up late. I always feel like a big loser on dates because I'm a big clock watcher. I checked my credit card bill for this week and it is randomly $1000. I don't know how that happened. I think I need a conservatorship. April 4th - 11:40am My days have been really similar since I've been on spring break. A lot of waking up late, smoking weed, watching TV and running errands. That all has the potential to be a riveting blog post but it hasn't felt electric to me. But don't worry. Spring break is over tomorrow.